The feeling of confidence can be such a profound yet fleeting experience at times. When we feel sure about what we’re putting out into the world, there’s nothing that can stop us in trying to get the most we can out of our careers. However, I might suggest that this feeling of confidence can ebb and flow when you’re in the entertainment business. So much of our confidence seems to be dictated by outside forces like competition and award recognition. For me, I would say that I’ve had a fluid relationship with the confidence I feel about my professional work.
When I was pursuing a career as an actor and singer, for a long time I was most confident singing a song in an audition situation only to find years later that I much preferred and felt more comfortable offering a monologue. This could be due to the aging of my singing voice, but I also think it was the beginning of my career shifting from music to solely acting. Likewise, once I began writing and producing in earnest, I would say my confidence with those disciplines had grown so much that it eclipsed my acting bug.
When I began writing, I would say my confidence inspired me to try, but my notion about what I was writing was less than exuberant. I just didn’t have enough experience as a writer to deliver anything I would want to share…for a while. Like anything else, the more I wrote, the more I learned and the more my confidence in sharing increased. I would say that these days, I’ve leveled out with my work as a writer/producer at a good, healthy acceptance of what I offer and how “good” I think it is. And, if it doesn’t pass muster, I head back to the drawing board until I’m satisfied.
However, I would say the biggest transformation in my confidence as an entertainment professional, whether it’s my writing, producing or teaching artist career, has been creating my own material. Making “He’s With Me” was more than an indie film school, it offered the opportunity to make mistakes that I would learn from and, hopefully, never repeat in terms of storytelling. I remember the night before the button was pushed to share the show and I my nerves almost got the best of me. For a brief moment, I almost reneged on the whole thing. Since I had no track record as an indie series creator/writer/producer/actor, I was unsure about what the response to my work would be. Taking that leap of faith with my talent paid off. Thankfully, my work was received with mostly praise and even award recognition. This definitely influenced my confidence. Not just because my work found an appreciative audience but because I tossed the creative dice and bet on myself. Even if the show had bombed, I believe I would’ve used the experience as a teaching moment that would’ve informed me and made me a better artist.
This is why I preach the name of my business so much. Making my show informed me about what I feel I have to offer as an artist. It encouraged me to tell more stories and to cling fast to my creativity and my path in life. For anyone reading this who doesn’t always have the best view of themselves (and in the arts, it can be rough), boost your confidence by taking a chance. Make your show and toss your creative dice. I guarantee that it will do more than increase your confidence – it will make you think of yourself as an artist, not just an actor looking for a break.
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